Jason Kovacs over at the Abba Fund blog wrote an amazingly simple mathematical equation over at the blog last week. Basically he took the number of orphans in the world, the number of professing Christians and figured out how many of those Christians would need to adopt to give every orphaned child a family.

How many do you think? 80%, 50%, 30% nope, how about 6%?! The argument here isn't that only Christians should adopt, but that it really is a number within reach. Add in all of the potential adoptive parents in the world and it looks even easier. I don't think that there is any need for children to grow up without families. No reason at all.

quoted from a blog that noel piper tweeted about. go adopt a kid. (if youre married. and can financially support it.) if youre a believer you've been trans-racially adopted. repeat the process. need more convincing? http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/free-at-last-the-grace-of-christ-in-galatians/

listen to free as sons.

Luke 18.25
by Karsten Piper

He spread his blanket on the sand,
kneeled and arranged his bowls and tools:
hook, mallet, clamp, chisel, rasp, razor.

His smile glinted in the rongeur’s claws,
and upside down in the curette’s spoon.
Light shone out of the needle’s eye.

“Hoosh,” he said and began plucking hairs,
paring calluses, shearing wool, shaving
to the follicles, cutting to the quick.

He sorted these, trimming skin with skin,
hair with hair, into rows of clay bowls,
and set a large basin to catch each sour drip

as he sliced the hide and used both fists
to yank back the whole stubbled, gray pelt,
as wet and red on its underside as afterbirth.

He piled this heavily away, draping it
in clean linen, and turned to the meat and bone
heaving under sheer, tight membrane.

Sawteeth chewed into femur, rib and shoulder.
Pliers twisted and wrenched away tendons
until everything softened, canted, and collapsed—

yet not one sliver dies. Each ribbon and shard
bawls for the horror and hurt of their missing,
wishing for the old braying wholeness.

Pain bloodies evening and morning,
stabbing day after day from even the first cuts,
like the slow light of far stars.

Eyeballs and heart float alone in the last bowl,
dark and defenseless, quavering when he leans down
and they recognize in his eyes how little is left.

“Easy now, Camel,” he says and lifts me
in his fingertips, one quivering strand at a time,
through the eye of the needle.

my obsession with the Pipers apparently extends beyond john.

blah blah blah

since school started back, no one's really blogging. it makes me sad.

however... i actually see some of you now. so thats good. and my sister got a blog. thats good. you should follow her. shes got funny stories from the 83 inner-city 8th grade boys to whom she teaches science.

i have no idea what im doing in 9 months. my parents asked me THE question today. what the hecks is i sposed to say to that? (answer: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?)

im taking theology 101 from dr. bart box at the disciple-making institute at brookhills. yippee!

sara and i want to go to europe this summer. wanna come?

3 things:

1. labor day

2. molly chambers. meeting her for coffee in the morning :)

3. this verse: "return, O my soul, to your rest, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." i like to think about what it means that the Lord has dealt bountifully with my soul. any ideas?

the more encouraging ones...

"O Lord, grant that I am more amazed that I am forgiven for my wrongs than that I have been wronged."
(john piper. i follow him on twitter :) dont make fun.)

"but he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back? what he desires, that he does. for he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind."
(job 23:13)

in the midst of rush. 2 goals:
1. stay emotionally detached
2. stay OUT of the drama. i wont even let people tell me what's going on

i love my upstairs team. theyre a lot of fun... and its already day 4! so only 2 more days :) and then bid day!!

the gospel and alpah chi

"never be content with your current grasp of the Gospel. the Gospel is life-permeating, world-altering, universe-changing truth. it has more facets than any diamond. we will never exhaust its depths."

(c.j. mahaney)

back in tuscaloosa... rush workshop started today... back in my house with sara(h).

i really want to portray the Gospel during workshop and rush- talk about a challenge. you can pray for me if you want :)

"love is patient."

in the middle.

im moving back to tuscaloosa in 4 days. 

mixed feelings? yes. 

pros: cons:

sarah     rush

sara      class

caple-HOOD. summer friends

friends

mary lynn!

i made a playlist called long dress. cause some music you just need a long dress for... this occurred to me last summer in my kitchen, listening to nelo with sarah teague. summer, long dress, barefoot, grass. dancing around. 

kitchens have the best memories. freshman year, sitting in the floor of my kitchen with sarah and jessica, talking and laughing well into the night

all growing up with my family, cooking and hanging out. most of our memories involve good food

last summer cooking almost nightly with sarah, dancing  barefoot

this summer, too... various kitchens, various families, sweet conversations. learning to love new people and finding out who they are. 

i think this has been my favorite college summer.

lessons learning.

right now the Lord is teaching me...

to wait. (story of my life.) on Him, on His plans. Love is patient.

to be satisfied in the morning by His steadfast love. everyday. (psalm 90)

how to hope in Him and let everything else be a pleasant surprise.

to lean into Him and His wisdom.

that if pleasing man is my goal, i am no longer a servant of Christ. (gal 1)

to trust Him. (im trying)

i feel like i learn the same lessons over and over again... isaiah 28:10...

goal-oriented

new goal: stop biting my nails.

we'll see how it goes.

richmond

im in virginia, and life is good :)

staying with erica and stevie of course, and enjoying my time with them. i flew in on thursday; highlights so far...

• dinner at erica's parents' house last night- her dad made steaks and afterward we talked politics
• getting to see where erica will be teaching little fourth graders in the fall
• staying up late talking to stevie the first night i was here; exposing ourselves as sinners and finding common ground there. we also laughed some :)
• mrs. bonnie (er's mom) took us to get our nails done. richmond mom-time
• meeting up with my summer staff ropes girls, alex and sarah greico. i love them!

today was the best though. erica and i drove to three different wineries between here and charlottesville and did wine-tastings. an experience for sure- i think i tried 20 different wines today, which kind of blows my mind. we had lunch at this local cafe-thing and i think i had the best turkey sandwich ive ever eaten. we bought a bottle of chocolate wine that we liked a lot... should be good.

right now my biggest struggles...

hoping in the Lord & resting in the Lord. this is my fav from this morning: 

"satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days." (psalm 90:14)

i want to go for the ride

shotgun, on the passenger side

we could leave this whole world behind

pack a lunch and just sail away

but then again im scared to let go-

this world is all that i know,

God don't let me wake up and find

ive left you  someday...

(mandi mapes, "maybe if i sing")

the past 6.

while filemaker loads...

im the only intern at the office today. slightly depressing. it's been me and bubba all week, which has been really fun. he's in starkville now. :(

for the update...

went to the beach this weekend with chris and brad- we met my family down there. the weekend included: red bar with the boys and caroline, kayaking and being within 15 yards (probably less) of a pod of dolphins, enjoying the sunshine, swimming in the pool, good meals with the family, the illusionist, more kayaking, and a little seaside. 

got to play with sarah on monday- got her a new mac! then had dinner at brad's house and met the kenyan kids staying with him! so cute.

tuesday night fun night was at makar's house- he cooked shrimp and grits and we got to meet The Famous Egyptian and Champ. then we went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. (what were we thinking?) i think i got in at 3:45.

last night i met eric parker's new girl- stephanie. AND i got to see sandra! i heart her.

tonight im meeting with anne and then small group, and tomorrow...

Richmond :)

happy :)

"rejoice in the Lord always, again i say- rejoice!"

i had the best time in the car with the Lord this morning. aunt wendy was telling me about her tennis matches at the house, so i didnt get to read when i usually do, so i started going over the Scripture i've memorized this summer when i got in my car. after reciting all i knew, i just started getting really happy. i prayed a little in the silence and then decided to turn on some music... 

i listened to coldplay, amos lee, the jonas brothers, and taylor swift. i havent been so happy in the Lord in a long time :) 

confession: im ridiculously legalistic. so i think the Lord sometimes changes my routine so i can experience him.

"for everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer."

(1 tim 4:4)

2 & 3

2 quotes:

"we may not master the Scriptures, but the Scriptures must master us."

(paul washer)

"hope in the Lord... everything else is just a pleasant surprise."

(caleb hughes)

3 things im thankful for:

1. morgan and adrienne. summer friends :)

2. sarah's back from cali and brad's back from montana

3. bbq ribs and homemade ice cream at tyler's on sunday. it felt homey :)

good morning, july

today is july one.

that means that day after tomorrow is my mom's birthday.

and that the next day is independence day!

and the next day sarah gets back! (and brad!)

it also means summer is halfway over. summer has gone slowly so far (for which i am ever so thankful). im scared it's going to speed up. 

so ive known from the beginning of summer that i am surrounded by boys, but last night i really realized that i have no girlfriends here. i freaked a little. luckily i got to talk to sarah. so good. it's funny how long it took me to realize that. boys are good companions, but sometimes you just need a girl. especially when you are one.

ive been trying to load filemaker since 9:30. it's 9:50 and it still hasnt worked. grrr...

i need more of Jesus.

work and play

so instead of the normal "make 30 calls a day" thing we had going at work, we now just call until we get 12 packets sent.  so sometimes you make 12 calls, and sometimes you make 45.

can i just tell you that i have learned how to coerce some secretaries. if they answer the phone, theyre getting a packet. dang it.

im on a roll this morning. 

the other day i was leaving a voicemail for rebecca and almost identified myself as "katie"- my office pseudonym since davis ann is way too hard to explain over the phone.

in other news...

sometimes i realize that i am very much a girl. and sometimes i dont like this fact. 

sometimes i get really thankful that i live with sarah teague. she's really compassionate and patient with me. even when i complain a lot. actually, especially when i complain a lot. 

i almost had an emotional breakdown the other day when i realized that sarah was going to move from tuscaloosa to probably somewhere far away and erica was in virginia. my sister just moved to north carolina. what the heck. i dont want to grow up im pretty sure.

except im ready to be done with school. im dreading going back to tuscaloosa. i dont want to study :(  or do rush. gross.

but ill get to live with sarah and sara again! that will be fun :)

and maybe school won't be that bad.

and rush is only 2 weeks counting workshop.

3 things:

1. sarah teague. seriously. cant ask for a better friend.

2. going to richmond soon. praise God for conversations with erica that reveal my sin and point me to the cross.

3. post its. love em!

creation, evolution, and filemaker.

waiting for filemaker to load.

slowest program ever.

im starting to realize that by the time it loads im going to have time for one phone call and then im going to have to leave to go meet my grandparents for lunch. johnny rockets :)

last night i went to an apologetics class at oak mt pres. creation v. evolution was the topic. pretty interesting. the guy speaking had been on a couple state boards that review textbooks... very revealing as to the people that supervise our education. he used to be a strong evolutionist, but came to know the Lord (along with his wife) and trusted the Lord in creation. 

my favorite part was when he was reading all the Scripture that identified God as Creator, especially in the psalms when the psalmist would praise Him for the work of Creation. so amazing. 

"before the mountains were brought forth or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting, you are God." (psalm 90:1)

wow. i love that: "from everlasting to everlasting..." proved in Creation. so cool.

Word.

so the past couple days (ok weeks. maybe months.) ive been trying to be really open to whatever the Word says. that probably sounds weird. 

but i've been doing this thing where, when i read the Word, i want to ignore what i "know" and relearn the good stuff while tossing out the bad. not always easy. especially when you come to verses like psalm 11:5 and psalm 5:5. (warning: only read these if you're willing for your head to explode. slash to submit yourself to whatever the Word says, regardless of what youve been taught your entire life. slash want to be confused.) 

it's rough.

but i love the Word. i identify with the psalm 119 guy. to quote bradley pinkerton, "we cannot know God fully, but we can know him truly." the only way to know him truly? yeah, the Word.

listened to a platt sermon called "The Gospel and Homosexuality." (weird choice, huh? good tho. obvi.) he talked about how a couple denominations were acknowledging that the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong, but they were saying that those parts shouldn't be in the Bible. that they aren't inspired. im sorry. WHAT? "who are you, o man?" people have such a disregard for the Word. even when it's not that blatant. someone was talking about how, in romans 3, it says "no one seeks God, not even one." and its true- no one is seeking the God of the Bible. people want to serve a God that serves their desires and wants. no one wants to seek the God that does, in fact, have wrath. and does, in fact, have compassion on whom he chooses. scary thing: im included in no one.

God, i want to know you truly. 

thanks guys.

chris hanna told me id make a good mormon. mostly because im goal oriented. same night, called me an old maid. 

thanks.

morning madness

interesting day so far, and it's only 9:30.

one of the other interns said he has a "vendetta" against people who only quote from one book of the Bible. ( i think it was because when he asked a question and didn't like my answer, i cited Romans. ive been quoting from Romans a lot...)

i got my picture made by mr. mark for the sdea website. bad picture... then he came by my cubicle and we had a mini-photoshoot. hehe :)

spilled coffee on my skirt this morning. nbd, skirt's navy.

watched a facebook video of jonathan in idaho with the entire sdea staff. 

everyday i realize how highly i think of bubba. 

3 things:

1. eric sims. one of the most loving people i know.

2. my work computer is so slow that i can write an entire blog while i wait for programs to open.

3.  the Gospel.

stop what you're doing and read this out loud. out loud. and like you mean it.

"but now, the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the law and the prophets bear witness to it. it is the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. for there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God [wait for it!!] and are justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus[!!!], whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. this was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. it was to show his righteousness at the present time so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus."

romans 3 (emphasis mine.)

trying

i found myself avoiding God this morning.

just didnt know what to say.

figured i may as well expose it.

the Gospel, revisited.

let me know if you find heresy in the following... 

for the past few weeks i've been asking the Lord to show me what the Gospel truly is. i listened to a sermon and then went on a run to think about it and pray, and as i walked back i pulled an erica and started preaching to the air...

you are without hope. dead in your trespasses, you lie lonely, separated from God. you have no merit, nothing makes you appealing; you have no worth in and of yourself. 

and before a holy God you have no place. he is just and he is holy, and before him you cannot stand. there is nothing in your heart that desires true justice, nor is there anything within you that desires holiness. there is a chasm between you and the Father that cannot be crossed, a divide that cannot be conquered. there is a breach that can only be made right by blood, the blood of a pure and perfect sacrifice.

and He has provided such a sacrifice. the Father searched for a pure, clean, perfect sacrifice, and on the earth he found no such thing. no one understands, no one seeks God. there is no one righteous, no not one! but the Father, in his infinite and abounding love and provision, sent the only One capable. he was not merely a lamb as the Jews were accustomed to. he was not merely man, for he is the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. and he came and lived among us. and when the time came he suffered and died as the perfect and atoning sacrifice for the sin from which we could not save ourselves. 

so believe. believe on his name and repent! forsaking all, throw yourself at the cross of Jesus Christ and submit yourself to His Lordship. leave the sin that entangles you and hold fast- cling!- to the righteousness, the all-sufficiency, the holiness of Christ. he is the only one that can save you from an eternity of misery, an eternity of complete and total separation from the only One that loves you fully and truly.

but first, count the cost. know that the call of Christ is dangerous. it is radical, hated by the world. you will be persecuted, and you will die. the call of Christ is to lay down your life. if you try to keep your life, you will lose it. 

for i am not ashamed of the Gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.

the Gospel

the Gospel is my favorite story. it's the only thing that makes it work. and by it i mean everything.

i suck at sharing the Gospel. a guy just practically begged for it, and not a single word came to mind. im giving him a Bible i randomly (except not really) have with me. i wrote the Scripture "but small is the gate and narrow the way that leads to life, and few find it." have no idea why. i asked the Lord. felt like that was what he was saying.

but seriously. what's the deal? why can't i do this? i think im going to go tell him. he's sitting outside. moved so he could smoke. but what do i say? "hi. youre in the midst of separation from God because you were born in the condition of rebellion. you can do nothing about this. luckily, God did." it sounds so freakin absurd. i mean, it really is. absurd i mean. screw it. God, give me words...

im an avid reader of blogs, but not so much an avid writer of them.

im working on it, erica :)

im sitting at ohenry's, definitely in the top 10 of why i like birmingham. the owner/manager/guy who's always here just introduced himself to me because im "in here a lot." (chad maybe? stevie- do you know- guy with the beard?) yup. it's free wifi in a safe area, good coffee, friendly people working, and all kinds of interesting patrons. the other morning erica and i ate breakfast here and made up everyone's stories... obama was there, and lots of secret service (those were harder to identify), also a lawyer. or maybe he was an insurance salesman.

i just walked around downtown homewood for an hour-ish. left my sweater at the post office. oops. walked into a furniture store that made me think of erica. stepped in white flowers and enjoyed the light, breezy feeling while being paranoid id some how spill the (non-existent) grape juice in my purse. i liked smith's variety and peeked in the windows of the bike shop and homewood toy and hobby... 18th. so sweet. "quaint without being pretentious," to quote erica.

so now im going to read a little. erica's post made me crave romans... surprise :) it's my fav.

summer's started... ramblings

im sitting at work, doing nothing. (dont tell my boss. im tired of writing paragraphs.) tonight i move to helena. im excited! im moving in with becca rowe and her aunt and uncle.

ive decided that i like birmingham a lot. as in, i would be totally fine moving here post-graduation. i love going to brookhills, i like all the choices there are, i like the people, the traffics not horrible as long as you arent there at peak times, ohenry's is awesome. i would love to live in homewood, but lets be real. not gonna happen just post-graduation. maybe a flat somewhere?

ive also decided that when i have a house (or even an apt to myself) i want to have a really awesome guest room with a big, white, fluffy comforter and cute little furnishings. living with david and stephanie has been great- im so thankful for them and their hospitality. i guess i want to pay it forward :) feel free to take advantage of said guest room as soon as it exists. 

erica asked me to describe my ideal job yesterday. yeah, i have no idea what it would be. i like doing almost anything, as long as there's variety.

3 things...

1. that erica drives to bham almost daily.

2. ohenrys

3. newfound friends

conversations with Bobbie.

by grandmother's name is Bobbie. the following conversation occurred this morning.

Bobbie: what's that on your face?

me: oh, you know. finals makes my face break out.

Bobbie:  oh okay- i was just making sure the dog didn't get ya.

i dont like starting a post without knowing where im going. oh well.

i got home yesterday. gadsden home. and i love being home- well, in spurts. if i stay long i start itching to get out again. i love my house because my family's here- well kinda. they run in and out all day long, and it's always a gamble as to who you're coming home to- if anyone at all. mary lynn's about to graduate in a couple weeks. weird. caroline's going to be a senior. what are my parents going to do when we're all gone? it'll be here before we know it.

leaving tuscaloosa for the summer is always a little sad. this time it was even sadder. good thing im seeing erica on tuesday or i probably would have had an emotional breakdown. i hate saying bye to sarah though. she's been my best friend for three years now. it's always hard to say bye for a whole month. i can't imagine how she and matt feel considering they pretty much have to do that every time they see each other. im glad they get to spend the summer together... i was praying about that last night. im interested to hear stories :) and see how the Lord moves. and for them to minister alongside one another. and for them to live in the same city for once. 

anyway. i held my own in front of everyone, got in my car, and was bawling down qca.

i just gave myself away. oh well. 

by the time i got to birmingham i was overwhelmed with gratitude to the Lord for the community He has provided for me. i love Him a lot. (and im pretty sure He loves me back. wait. no. i love Him back. He loves me first.)

i move again on monday, this time to birmingham. im excited.

ate breakfast at my grandparents' this morning. love them. i hope my kids are as close to my parents as i am to them.

im better about blogging when im not studying my brains out. p.s. i ended up with a B in accounting!! ive never been so excited about a B in my life. literally by the grace of God. 

3 things:

1. my sisters. mary lynn has acted really excited that im home AND let me drive her car today. haha. it was fun. caroline stayed at home and watched a movie with me last night so i wouldnt have to chill by myself. and when i drove up yesterday she was real excited because she had missed the memo that i was coming home. (we're a lot alike in that way. no one tells us) i havent seen kiley yet but i like her too :)

2. Bobbie biscuits. you havent had a biscuit until you've had one made by my grandmother. seriously. it's worth a drive.

3. old prayer journals. good reminders of the Lord's faithfulness.

thoughts and meanderings.

55 minutes until my last final. i should probably be studying, but... im not.

things on my mind:
1. erica's moving to richmond.
2. im moving to birmingham, and the Lord provided (surprise) a place for me to stay. yay Jesus!
3. i bombed my accounting final. oh well.
4. ive been hyper-emotional lately. no reason. oh yeah, except that my best friend's moving 12 hours away.
5. im going to miss the cw house for the summer.
6. God's really gracious. and he loves to provide for me. subleasers and places to stay and friends and breakthroughs...
7. para church. what does that even mean?
8. i want my friend ry to know God before he leaves for japan.


one day, i want to have the entire new testament memorized. then all i'll be able to do is think about God. that would be SO awesome. romans first. then we'll see what He says...

sunday is mother's day. hug your mom. or at least give her a call.

i like my roommates sara(h). i have a date with teague tonight, our annual end of the year thing. she's real excited to see matt soon.

i love reading emily hill's blog.

if mgt395 was a dog, it would be a teacup poodle. completely useless, but thinks its really important.

erica, be proud.

3 things:
1. done with ac-310. (at this point i break into the doxology)
2. 1/2 price wine and pizza at venice.
3. naps.

summer is soon

i got an internship :)

so i'll be moving to bham for the summer! im excited about this. problem #1: i dont have a place to live. that's pretty much the only problem, though, and i even have a couple options. and the general pluses are...

1. i get to go to brook hills :) this excites me more than you know.

2. i called this lady who moved to bham that used to meet with me when i was in middle and high school, and she's going to meet with me this summer!

3. i work mon-thurs 9-3. that barely even counts as working. 

4. i get to learn the ropes so that i really CAN manage erica's ministry one day!!!

5. lots of fun people are going to be in bham this summer

6. i get a week's vacation to go see whoever i want... all you people going across the country should probably fight for this privilege. jk. (but no. really.)

yay yay yay yay yay!!!!

3 things: (this is easy)

1. i got an internship!

2. panera hazelnut coffee

3. only 3 weeks left until the semester from hell is over. no more studying for 2 (almost 3!) whole months!

i haven't blogged in forever. but i realized i was stalking Erica's page, wishing she would blog again, and i figured it was getting hypocritical.  

ok ive been sitting here for five minutes and can't think of anything to say. oh! i know! birthday.

i turned 21 this past tuesday. at midnight (ok, 11p.m.) erica and stevie showed up at my house with mimosas screaming "it's 12 o'clock somewhere! it's your birthday! mimosas!" i was in bed, but not asleep, and felt really special. the next day i had an accounting test, so i essentially did school from 8am-6pm straight, then went to bham to meet my parents for dinner. i went out with er, stevie, kiley, and david shadix that night... it was fun :) i love them. good birthday.

in other news...

i feel like the Lord's teaching me about being a shepherd. Jesus was the best one, for sure, but he's shown me some good modern day ones too. and i want to be a shepherd(ess). gabrielle always talks about me being a "guardian"- one of those temperament things we're obsessed with. anyway, i think that plays into it. i have a heart for the Church- messed up as we are. i want to see us follow Jesus best :) 

"little children, let us love, not in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth." (somewhere in 1 john)

3 things:

1. "mimosas at midnight"- ive never felt so special on my birthday ever

2. my sister made cookie dough tonight- yum :)

3. blogging

i wish...

i wish i knew God better.

i wish i knew what i'll be doing in 3 years. or even just one.

i wish my mom would email me back.

i wish my back would never hurt again.

i wish i didn't have to study.

i wish things didn't make me awkward.

i wish sin had no place in my life.

i wish i could love people better.

i wish i wasn't so selfish.

i wish peanut butter wasn't a million calories and a hundred grams of fat.

i wish memorization was easy.

i wish i knew what my gifts are.

i wish i had the gift of a French tongue.

i wish i was more bold.

i wish i knew what to say.

i wish things didn't affect me... that my feelings wouldn't get hurt.

i wish i wasn't last.

i wish i hadn't watched twilight. (don't get me wrong- good movie.)

i wish my name was sarah so i could fit in in my house (jk)

i wish i understood what He's doing.

i guess 3 won't cut it for me :)

im thankful for...

1. crusade.

2. my "tuscaloosa boys"- tyler, bradley, jonathan, trey. i think theyre great :)

3. time spent at gabrielle's

thoughtworthy, i suppose.

spring break is for relaxing- especially this spring break. the week has been good- ive made some new friends, gotten ridiculously sunburned, failed miserably at skim boarding, and started a book. and as the week has gone on, my list of things im thinking about has grown. they are including (but not limited to)...

1. do i pick up an accounting degree and have a double major in finance and accounting?

this is probably not going to happen. not only would i have to stay an extra semester for undergrad, id have to go to grad school to actually be a cpa. all for a job i have little to no interest in.

2. year-long internship on a young life property.

some family friends- eddy and eva evans- are down here with us, and eddy is the property manager at young life's windy gap. i told him my major and that i dont know what i want to do with it (erica piped in with "yes you do- you want to manage my ministry"- which is definite truth), and he told me to take a look at the internships. so that's what ive been doing this morning- a great distraction from my investments notes. within this idea are a couple options:

option #1: windy gap. weaverville (basically asheville), NC.  closer to home, 2.5 hours from charlotte, where kiley will be living. i already know the property manager, and i know i love the camp. 

option #2: frontier ranch or crooked creek ranch. both in colorado. farther from home, i wouldnt know a soul going out there. however, this has been a good situation for me in the past. id get to road trip out there (anyone want to come along?) and i'd definitely swing by the grand canyon. im named after the woman who's husband is the director of the western YL, so i kinda have an in there, too. not to mention ive always wanted to live in colorado for a year. the thought of being that far away from friends and family scares me.

beyond location... what would i want to DO? there are several areas- housekeeping, landscaping, guest services, kitchen, etc. honestly, i love the idea of being an office coordinator-type person, but still working the camp.

i love this idea. i have a year to think and pray about it. so that's what im going to be doing.

3. "it's the glory of a man to overlook an offense."  im not good at this. 

4. all my friends are getting boyfriends. while im terribly excited for each new relationship, its getting a little weird. i feel like 85% of my friends went from single to dating in the past 10 months. scary. in the words of john day "i guess we're really growing up, arent we?"

yeah. i guess we are.

5. sdea internship this summer. ready to know if im getting it or not. not knowing and having to be a sitting duck for summer plans is killing me. i like plans. let me plan, dang it.

onething, summer nights in march, and friends :)

onething was this weekend. it was my first true ihop experience. except one time i went to ihop atlanta's sunday morning service. it was good... i liked the worship a lot. i like being in the presence of the Lord. on friday night we got there 2 1/2 hours late (oops). tyler and matt makar were freaking out about it; the girls (kaitlin chance, lauren ferrel, me) were chill- surprise. but that night i got mr. paul to pray for me, and im so glad i did. he hears the Lord. and he heard him for me. he said a lot of things, but here's the one that overwhelmed me. the Lord said "thank you." to ME. um, im sorry, but what?? why in the world would the Lord, who does everything for me, who is the only reason i can do anything for him, say thank you to ME? oh my gosh. talk about humbling. it made me weep. he had me pray out some stuff too... it was just good. i miss being ministered to like that. 

saturday we did the morning session, then i had to skip out on the afternoon one to study (story of my life), and then back for the night session. and then drove home. 

best part of the weekend: Jesus time with mr. hughes and seeing sandra :)

worst part of the weekend: not sleeping, i guess.

seeing sandra made me miss her more. and bill and john and how things used to be. i cried when i told her bye. granted id slept 4 hours the night before, but i just really love her. she points me to Jesus every time. 

im thankful for:

1. the three little roommates song

2. that erica took over the kids desk at church so i could sleep

3. asparagus

it's happening to you, too.

today i was alone in the house washing dishes and i realized that i was singing to myself- "that thing you do." i smiled because sara's voice- "you are just like your mom," ran through my head. she says that to me a lot. she's probably the person down here that knows my mom and me the best. as the thought went through my head that i am becoming my mother, my smile grew. i like my mom. she has her flaws, but she's really pretty great. she tells me not to stress about school, she's proud of everything i do, she puts anyone at ease. she carries grace in an amazing way. she has the best laugh in the whole world. she gives killer back rubs and scratches. she took raising us seriously, but not in a way that kept her from enjoying us and goofing off with us. she always laughs at my stupid stories. every time i babysit i think about her. i want to be a mom like her. she and my dad are a great team- ive never once had to worry about their marriage. they complement each other in every way. he's practical, she's daydreamy. hes good at math, shes good at english. she can sing, he can keep a beat. she does small things to let you know her love, he does big things. she's too trusting, he's too skeptical. they work. 

when i picture my mom, she's usually singing. she loves music. james taylor, paul simon, the beatles. squirrel nut zippers, steve tyrell, diana krall. "her" music. when we used to go to the grocery store she would sing as she pushed the cart down the aisle, bobbing her head and dancing around. she has no rhythm. it used to embarass me; now i do the exact same thing. (these are the times where i get the comment from sara) she loves birds. she used to pull out her "North American Bird Anthology" to look up the birds that landed on our porch all the time. she doesn't do that so much any more, but only because she knows all their names now. 

i often wish she was here. she would tell me to take a break from studying, i think. so i did. thanks mom :)

3

three things...

1. david platt's sermons on podcast

2. grace: daily. freely. abundantly.

3. rides to school from gabrielle

feeling content :)

i went to the beach this weekend. best weekend so far this semester, no doubt. i went down with sara and sarah, but erica, amy, and wendy were surprising stevie with a trip down, so we got to meet up with them some, too. we had dinner with them friday night, but then went back to our house and watched a movie, after which we all took baths and went to bed early. we got up saturday and sara and i studied. sarah teague didnt feel well, but started feeling better as the day went on. the two of us sat on the back porch for a long time, talking and drinking peppermint hot tea. later, we went shopping im pretty sure at sarah teague's request, and she was the only one to not buy anything (surprising... or not at all). then the three of us went to dinner at this place called mitchell's where we sat in the pretty bar and ordered the cheapest things on the menu :) there was a table of 40-something-year-old couples next to us that were obnoxious and loud. we thought they were amusing- though more than slightly annoying- with their middle school antics. we laughed a lot ourselves... i like my roomies a lot. after dinner we bought cookie dough and icing from publix and made double doozies at the house. erica and stevie came over and we talked late into the night, laughing until we cried more than a couple times. today we went to the beach for the first time all weekend. it was really pretty and we hated to leave (i mostly just didnt want to come face school and another investments test), but we finally got on the road around 3. i like home...tuscaloosa....whatever this place is to me, but a weekend away was awesome. made me excited for spring break :) it also reminded me of a beach trip i took with sandra last year where we did absolutely nothing the entire time and it was awesome. i really like sandra... i miss her. i miss all my friends that arent here any more. reunion?

3 things:

1. heating pads

2. my funny big sister that turned 23 this weekend :)

3. sara(h)

I know I already posted today. But I want to again. And that's the good thing about blogs. You can talk as much as you want about whatever you want, because you aren't actually forcing anyone to listen. They can choose to or not, and it doesn't hurt your feelings. People like writing blogs because let's face it: who doesn't like to talk about themself? I like to listen, but I also like to talk. 

So here's what I'm mulling over: I went to this meeting earlier and was asked, "If we were tailoring a conference specific to YOU, what would happen at said conference?" And all I could think of was just really good teaching. Sure, there'd be worship. I love worship. (It would be lots of hymns, probably, and I'd definitely make Gabrielle sing!) But I connect with the Lord when I read or when I'm taught His Word. And for awhile I was in this group where that almost wasn't ok. I was told it was "feeding my head, but was it affecting my heart? Probably not." But it does! I don't know how. But in the same way some people are affected by music and prayer and song, teaching moves me. It makes me want to know Jesus. Because the more I find out about Him, the more I want to know. And as I get to know Him through the attributes He tells about Himself in His Word... it makes me grin when I think about it. Let's face it, I'm Presbyterian at heart. I like the Word because it's sure. And you can NOT separate God and His Word. It's where He expresses himself. 

and Pet Peeve: When teachers say "Here's what the Word says, and here's how you can apply it to your everyday life." and then give some rant about what this "means for today." The Word is living and active, sharper than any double edged sword. Teach the Word, let the Spirit do the rest. Ok, rant over :)

three things:

1. my investments teacher. he's not good at teaching, but he's really nice and eager to help. he met with me for an hour yesterday even though i didnt have an appointment. 

2. my purple blanket. it's pretty much the best ever- real soft and REAL warm.

3. my mom. i like her a lot. and she's not hard on me... probably cause she knows im already real hard on myself.

last blog was a little dramatic. but it was how i felt :) i did, in fact, do horribly on that finance test; erica praised me for my 66. she's kinda the best. the other two didnt go nearly as badly. and now ive hit that lull in schoolwork that makes me nervous... when's it going to get crazy again? however, it's good that i've hit that lull. i have the flu, which definitely stinks. i dont think ive ever had it before... i might have had the stomach flu when i was a kid. however, i do have the best roommates and friends in the world. everybody and their mom has asked me if i need anything- what can they bring me? it's definitely nice to be loved. i got some meds at the health center that are supposed to speed me through it- thank goodness. i feel ok at the moment, but earlier i wanted to cry and ask my mom to come down. ibupruofen has always been my favorite drug for a reason :) im worried about missing class- i might try to go tomorrow. they're too hard to skip. i'll see how i feel. right now im sitting in bed, eating saltines and drinking ginger ale- the perfect "im sick" combo. and to copy erica, three things im thankful for:

1. wonderful friends that take care of me

2. house episodes online

3. drugs!

because i have so much time on my hands...

im sincerely starting to doubt my decision to major in finance. i love numbers, i hate investments. i have no desire to work the stock market. or the bond market for that matter. shouldve just done math. however, my reasoning goes something like this. i hate economics in a way that no one can possibly understand. its a deep, deep hatred. ive taken 9 hours of econ to get to where i am. therefore im not changing my major to something where those hours are useless. (i did, however, change my concentration to avoid another econ class.) last book ive read? its called essentials of investments. ive been reading it every day, for hours a day, for 2 weeks. besides the bible, its all ive read. and ive definitely spent more time in the word of bodie, kane, and marcus than in the Word of God. sorry, but put options are not exactly the desire of my heart. neither is scoring it big in the stock market. i dont care a lot about money.  i would like to not be destitute. thats about it.  

so here's the rub. i just took my finance test- the one ive been reading, highlighting, summarizing, and working problems for. and despite the hours upon hours that i put into it, im pretty darn sure i bombed it. it makes me consider taking up cussing. instead, ill probably go study for accounting. 

reminders are always good.

lately ive been reminiscing a lot about my freshman year of college- mostly about my relationship with the Lord that year. i picked up my Bible that i got that christmas and started paging through; it brought tears to my eyes. it was one of the sweetest times with the Lord i have ever known. all the kind words he said to me. he still talks to me, but i'm in a different place now. i like where i am- im satisfied in Him. but it's incomparable to that season. ive since switched Bibles to get a different translation (from nlt to nkjv, if you were wondering), so looking through that Bible is big for me. i had a fire lit under my feet for reading the Word- it was all i did i think. looking at the things i marked, the notes i penned. i think He's reminding me of the things i learned in that short amount of time. it's nice to be reminded.

the sweetness of his love

my name is anna

he's bigger. always.

he likes me. he genuinely likes hanging out with me.

the Word always wins. period. its important.

i am israel. i am chosen by Him.

the book of isaiah will always move my heart.

ive also been listening to david platt sermons like its my job. free as sons made me cry... spirit of adoption. he loves us, doesnt he? he really loves us. hes jealous for us.