twenty-five.

today is my older sister kiley's birthday!

today she is 25. she went to school and taught a bunch of hoodlums who don't give her no respect, even though she gives them everything she has. she loves them even though they try so hard to make her quit. i think that sometimes she thinks she has quit loving them, but i know better. she's never been good at concealing how she feels.

four years ago, she turned 21. she calls it her "last fun birthday." but fun it was :) the 6 maddi got all dressed up and went to dinner in birmingham at a family fave, highlands. i remember that they made this big tray of desserts and wrote "happy birthday kylie" in chocolate syrup. oops. close.

seven years ago, she turned 18. she turned in her 1988 volvo station wagon for a dark blue volvo convertible. you could call it a trade up. she proceeded to total the station wagon less than a week later, leaving me car-less. (she can't actually be blamed for this. she was hit by a drunk driver.)

twelve years ago, she turned 13. she cut off all her long, blonde hair and sported a... bob? bowl cut? it's hard to say. it's something she'd rather not discuss.

twenty-three years ago, she turned 2. and two months later, i was born. i was her first little sister (and there was plenty more where that came from), and i stole mom and dad's attention from her. or so she says. but what she lost in their attention, she made up for in mine. i watched her every move. i wanted to dress like her (so i stole her clothes), listen to the same music (so i stole her tapes, cds, and mp3 files), and be like her (so i imitated her). it drove her crazy. "imitation is the highest form of flattery," my mom would always tell her before she stomped away steaming because i had copied her outfit. this trend continued, and when she went to the university of alabama, i soon knew that i would go there, too. i'm glad she made that decision. she hates decisions, and i think at least part of that is because she knows she's not making them for just herself. she has three pairs of eyes watching her every move, ready to follow suit. or tease. whatever the case may be.

i've always loved and looked up to my older sister. and i always will.

love you kiley! happy birthday!!!!

valentine's round-up.

valentine's was wonderful. it lasted two days for me and brad, which was such a treat. i'll take any second i can get with that kid. he's insanely busy all the time- he's a chemical engineering major, does research with an MD through the computer-based honors program, leads a small group through our church, and then has to deal with me on top of it all.

he's wonderful. and i know that i'm biased and gushy and probably annoying, but you are always allowed to stop reading :)

he shows me Jesus. and i'm not just saying that- he really does. he shows me the care of the Lord, his steadfastness, the tender heart of God. he tells me no. i like that in a man. Lord knows i need it. and can i just say that he tells me no because that's what i need to hear, not to show that he's in charge or to be controlling. he says it because it's best.

for valentine's day part one we went to dram whiskey bar in downtown mountain brook, where we had drinks and burgers and good, light-hearted conversation while enjoying the ski-lodge atmosphere. it wasn't a super-Valentine's-y spot, but it was perfect for us. we grabbed a bottle of champagne (did i mention that i'm so happy he finally turned 21?) and went back to his parents' house to watch a TV special on Prince William and Kate. he gave me a cupcake decorating kit, made me cupcakes, and presented me with a card that entitles me to as many breakfast dates as i want. i gave him a book of useless information and his favorite candy (which, btw, is only sold at christmas. i rock).

part two was the next day, which was actually Valentine's Day. he was coming over for dinner, so i put a tablecloth on the table, lit a candle, and told him this was my part :) not as sassy as the first part, but just as fun. then he gave me his whole night. he didn't do any homework or complain about how he needed to go to bed, or even play words with friends on his phone. he just gave me his time.

i inherited a couple things from my dad, including flat feet, a bad back, a sense of rhythm (because let's be honest, that didn't come from my mom), and a love for quality time. my dad is absolutely obsessed with spending time with the people he cares about. my family, to be specific. he's ecstatic when we can all be together, and was more torn up than my mom when my older sister left for college.

brad does not share my sentiments. but he's learning that this is so important to me. and the fact that he is willing to give me his time- his undivided attention for hours in a row- means more to me than anything i can think of. he's the best.

valentine's :)

i have the sweetest, most bestest, wonderfulest, greatest...

mommy in the world!

i bet you thought i was going to say boyfriend. fooled ya. (but he's pretty great, too!)

i just got a package in the mail (who doesn't love packages in the mail? it's even better than just a regular present!) from my mom for valentine's day! it had a coffee cup with a scene from

this book (this is one of those books that makes me cry when i read it now. kind of like "i love you forever i like you for always..." i love children's literature.), dove dark chocolate, and a sweet valentine's card.

brad and i are going to celebrate valentine's day on sunday night. he never tells me what we're going to do for any special occasion... he likes to surprise. AND he's really good at that. and presents. he's really sweet and thoughtful :) i like him.

i haven't had a car all week, so i haven't been able to get him a present yet. like i'd know what to get him anyway. i already exhausted all my options on birthday. (which, by the way, one of his friends got him the exact same book i got him! dangit. this just proves that he's insanely hard to shop for.)

we're going to birmingham for the weekend so brad can run in a half marathon, so i need to go make some clothing decisions. what should i wear for our valentine's date? hmm....

i have a class every wednesday from 8-10:30.

today, my professor didn't show up until 8:30 because he thought that was when class started.

REALLY?

last night, katie came over for our weekly prayer/accountability time, and it was so good. i really enjoy when we get to hang out- mostly because she's awesome and we make each other laugh. and because i like hanging out with girls. just talking to her made me realize how thankful i am for the friends i've had throughout high school and college. there's always been an honesty and love for one another in the Lord. so thankful for the friends that have prayed for me and with me, held me to high standards, and loved me regardless of how well i behave.

carbo-loading.

The University cancelled class because of winter weather.

This means that it's less than 40 degrees outside and raining, apparently.

BUT that means that I get to cook tonight because Brad's meeting got cancelled! So I don't have to just eat leftovers! And my only company isn't Rachel Ray or Ina Garten! (Even though I love Ina. I would have lunch with her any day. But dinner... I prefer people who don't live in my television set.)

I'm going to make chicken strips. Healthy, I know. But see since I made those orange scones I have some buttermilk... so why wouldn't I use it on chicken strips? It just makes sense. And we will be eating green beans! And maybe some salad. Justified.

I'm also excited because Monday is Brad's 21st birthday!

This is Brad's happy face.

Just kiddin.

There, that's better :)

Reasons I'm excited for this include:

1. It's his 21st birthday! So we can (finally) have wine with dinner. Or beer. Tonight I would be picking beer, but as it's not Monday yet... water it is.

2. I get to cook yummy things. He's real simple, so for his birthday dinner it will beeee... steak (good thing Ina and I had a conversation the other day on how to cook steak sans grill), green beans (his favorite veggie?), potatoes, and maybe some salad. And probably yummy yeast rolls. And red wine.

But for his birthday party I get to pick!! It's a super bowl party (ha. themed.), so I'm making pretzels, this ice cream pie, cake, and rotel dip. Fun, yummy, and football-y.

This is my life lately. I get excited about food when I can cook it. I read food blogs (I LOVE LOVE LOVE pioneer woman and joy the baker), I do a little school, and I sit on my couch and tell you about it.

love :)

today started my three day class rotation...

my schedule rocks.

i also got to talk to my best friend today :) sarah moved to texas recently because she married her lover, matt. (she calls him matthew. but that's only cause she's related to him now.)

see sarah and matt? aren't they so cute? you can have a couple crush on them if you want to. they're kind of amazing. (Sara Renee did their wedding photography. she's kind of amazing, too!)

we skyped for almost 2 hours. it's kind of ridiculous, but i miss her. so much. after living with her for more than four years, how can you blame me?

in other news,

i made chocolate orange scones last night. it was Joy the baker's idea. I might have a friend crush on her. or maybe that's called a blog crush. the scones were real good, but apparently citrus gives me fever blisters. too bad, because citrus is real good.

that's all. im going to go to bed ridiculously early, now. good night :)

a blogger resurfacing.

This saturday I'm pretty much worthless.

I woke up and made myself some pancakes, moped because my only friends are out of town, and then got back in my bed to read my Bible and complain to the Lord. Cause I have it so bad. Except not really. Or at all.

Yesterday I went house hunting in b'ham with my dad. B-rad joined, and we had fun... or i did, anyway. I saw two that I liked, but I'm not sold on anything yet. (my favorite one from internet looking already sold. I'm telling myself that it sucked in person.) I liked looking though, and I think the plan is to continue to look. Grateful for my knowledgeable pops.

And now I'm thinking about lunch.

What I should eat: salad.

What I want to eat: grilled cheese, potato chips, a pickle, and a diet coke.

Healthy isn't as fun as not healthy. Maybe if I go on a walk later I can justify that grilled cheese... it is, after all, a gorgeous day!

it's summer again...

apparently blogging is a summer activity for me :)

im in richmond for the next 4 weeks (ive already been here for 2). im working for erica's mom and living with erica- both of which im loving. i do THE most random stuff for mrs. bonnie- from researching how best to sell a fridge online to editing letters to fed-ex'ing shoes she left at the nail salon. living with erica is always an adventure :) we have a lot of similar interests... well. we both like junk antique and thrift stores. and the Lord. she's an artist, which fits the mold of my favorite roommates, and im currently watching her paint a piece inspired by the woman with the issue of blood (which, we just learned is in every Gospel BUT John. which is the one she was supposed to be painting from for her church. oops.). we're listening to coldplay (her choice) which makes me think of last summer and a concert with sara noojin...

i miss my bama people. kind of a lot.

my best friend is engaged!! and found a dress yesterday. and i get to go to the fitting in a couple months!!!

i love my life. have i said that recently? because i do.

because my last post was on adoption... i recently dubbed (in my head) my savings accout my "adoption savings account." im 1/25 of the way there. so maybe in like 15 years i can actually have a kid. hah.

"satisfy me in the morning with your steadfast love, that i may rejoice and be glad all my days..."

I never write any more. I thought about excuses, but decided a post is better.

I've been thinking about adoption a lot lately... as in, more than usual. For several reasons, I think.

I'm scared of growing older and not doing the things I always said I'd do because life happened.

I just read Noel Piper's adoption story, and pretty much wept the whole time. She and John adopted a little African American girl (Talitha Ruth) when her youngest son was 13 (they have four sons) and she and john were in their 50s. (By the way, Talitha is what Jesus called the little girl he raised from the dead- it means "little she-lamb." That's about the cutest thing I've ever heard.)

Went to BrookHills yesterday, where my heart was first stirred toward adoption. Several months after that first happened, I found myself in that same sanctuary beside a couple in their 50s, white, with a little black girl, about 7. Watching that family, the little girl climbing into her daddy's lap made me teary. Because that's her daddy, and the colors of their skin have no consequence in her eyes. I wanted to thank them, to tell them how much I loved and respected what they were doing, and how much I want to do that one day, but was afraid I'd burst into tears if I tried to talk to them.

I'm only 21, unmarried (and staying that way for awhile), still in school (and staying THAT way for awhile), and currently broke. I have don't have the resources, family position, or financial position to adopt or provide for an adopted child. But my heart cries for it daily.

I don't understand why the Lord puts things in my heart way before they can bear fruit, but I trust Him. And I know that this is from Him. So in 15 years, when you see my little multi-racial family, don't be shocked. Because I've known since I was 20 that my kids wouldn't all look like me :)

Jason Kovacs over at the Abba Fund blog wrote an amazingly simple mathematical equation over at the blog last week. Basically he took the number of orphans in the world, the number of professing Christians and figured out how many of those Christians would need to adopt to give every orphaned child a family.

How many do you think? 80%, 50%, 30% nope, how about 6%?! The argument here isn't that only Christians should adopt, but that it really is a number within reach. Add in all of the potential adoptive parents in the world and it looks even easier. I don't think that there is any need for children to grow up without families. No reason at all.

quoted from a blog that noel piper tweeted about. go adopt a kid. (if youre married. and can financially support it.) if youre a believer you've been trans-racially adopted. repeat the process. need more convincing? http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/free-at-last-the-grace-of-christ-in-galatians/

listen to free as sons.

Luke 18.25
by Karsten Piper

He spread his blanket on the sand,
kneeled and arranged his bowls and tools:
hook, mallet, clamp, chisel, rasp, razor.

His smile glinted in the rongeur’s claws,
and upside down in the curette’s spoon.
Light shone out of the needle’s eye.

“Hoosh,” he said and began plucking hairs,
paring calluses, shearing wool, shaving
to the follicles, cutting to the quick.

He sorted these, trimming skin with skin,
hair with hair, into rows of clay bowls,
and set a large basin to catch each sour drip

as he sliced the hide and used both fists
to yank back the whole stubbled, gray pelt,
as wet and red on its underside as afterbirth.

He piled this heavily away, draping it
in clean linen, and turned to the meat and bone
heaving under sheer, tight membrane.

Sawteeth chewed into femur, rib and shoulder.
Pliers twisted and wrenched away tendons
until everything softened, canted, and collapsed—

yet not one sliver dies. Each ribbon and shard
bawls for the horror and hurt of their missing,
wishing for the old braying wholeness.

Pain bloodies evening and morning,
stabbing day after day from even the first cuts,
like the slow light of far stars.

Eyeballs and heart float alone in the last bowl,
dark and defenseless, quavering when he leans down
and they recognize in his eyes how little is left.

“Easy now, Camel,” he says and lifts me
in his fingertips, one quivering strand at a time,
through the eye of the needle.

my obsession with the Pipers apparently extends beyond john.

blah blah blah

since school started back, no one's really blogging. it makes me sad.

however... i actually see some of you now. so thats good. and my sister got a blog. thats good. you should follow her. shes got funny stories from the 83 inner-city 8th grade boys to whom she teaches science.

i have no idea what im doing in 9 months. my parents asked me THE question today. what the hecks is i sposed to say to that? (answer: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?)

im taking theology 101 from dr. bart box at the disciple-making institute at brookhills. yippee!

sara and i want to go to europe this summer. wanna come?

3 things:

1. labor day

2. molly chambers. meeting her for coffee in the morning :)

3. this verse: "return, O my soul, to your rest, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." i like to think about what it means that the Lord has dealt bountifully with my soul. any ideas?

the more encouraging ones...

"O Lord, grant that I am more amazed that I am forgiven for my wrongs than that I have been wronged."
(john piper. i follow him on twitter :) dont make fun.)

"but he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back? what he desires, that he does. for he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind."
(job 23:13)

in the midst of rush. 2 goals:
1. stay emotionally detached
2. stay OUT of the drama. i wont even let people tell me what's going on

i love my upstairs team. theyre a lot of fun... and its already day 4! so only 2 more days :) and then bid day!!

the gospel and alpah chi

"never be content with your current grasp of the Gospel. the Gospel is life-permeating, world-altering, universe-changing truth. it has more facets than any diamond. we will never exhaust its depths."

(c.j. mahaney)

back in tuscaloosa... rush workshop started today... back in my house with sara(h).

i really want to portray the Gospel during workshop and rush- talk about a challenge. you can pray for me if you want :)

"love is patient."

in the middle.

im moving back to tuscaloosa in 4 days. 

mixed feelings? yes. 

pros: cons:

sarah     rush

sara      class

caple-HOOD. summer friends

friends

mary lynn!

i made a playlist called long dress. cause some music you just need a long dress for... this occurred to me last summer in my kitchen, listening to nelo with sarah teague. summer, long dress, barefoot, grass. dancing around. 

kitchens have the best memories. freshman year, sitting in the floor of my kitchen with sarah and jessica, talking and laughing well into the night

all growing up with my family, cooking and hanging out. most of our memories involve good food

last summer cooking almost nightly with sarah, dancing  barefoot

this summer, too... various kitchens, various families, sweet conversations. learning to love new people and finding out who they are. 

i think this has been my favorite college summer.

lessons learning.

right now the Lord is teaching me...

to wait. (story of my life.) on Him, on His plans. Love is patient.

to be satisfied in the morning by His steadfast love. everyday. (psalm 90)

how to hope in Him and let everything else be a pleasant surprise.

to lean into Him and His wisdom.

that if pleasing man is my goal, i am no longer a servant of Christ. (gal 1)

to trust Him. (im trying)

i feel like i learn the same lessons over and over again... isaiah 28:10...

goal-oriented

new goal: stop biting my nails.

we'll see how it goes.

richmond

im in virginia, and life is good :)

staying with erica and stevie of course, and enjoying my time with them. i flew in on thursday; highlights so far...

• dinner at erica's parents' house last night- her dad made steaks and afterward we talked politics
• getting to see where erica will be teaching little fourth graders in the fall
• staying up late talking to stevie the first night i was here; exposing ourselves as sinners and finding common ground there. we also laughed some :)
• mrs. bonnie (er's mom) took us to get our nails done. richmond mom-time
• meeting up with my summer staff ropes girls, alex and sarah greico. i love them!

today was the best though. erica and i drove to three different wineries between here and charlottesville and did wine-tastings. an experience for sure- i think i tried 20 different wines today, which kind of blows my mind. we had lunch at this local cafe-thing and i think i had the best turkey sandwich ive ever eaten. we bought a bottle of chocolate wine that we liked a lot... should be good.

right now my biggest struggles...

hoping in the Lord & resting in the Lord. this is my fav from this morning: 

"satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days." (psalm 90:14)

i want to go for the ride

shotgun, on the passenger side

we could leave this whole world behind

pack a lunch and just sail away

but then again im scared to let go-

this world is all that i know,

God don't let me wake up and find

ive left you  someday...

(mandi mapes, "maybe if i sing")

the past 6.

while filemaker loads...

im the only intern at the office today. slightly depressing. it's been me and bubba all week, which has been really fun. he's in starkville now. :(

for the update...

went to the beach this weekend with chris and brad- we met my family down there. the weekend included: red bar with the boys and caroline, kayaking and being within 15 yards (probably less) of a pod of dolphins, enjoying the sunshine, swimming in the pool, good meals with the family, the illusionist, more kayaking, and a little seaside. 

got to play with sarah on monday- got her a new mac! then had dinner at brad's house and met the kenyan kids staying with him! so cute.

tuesday night fun night was at makar's house- he cooked shrimp and grits and we got to meet The Famous Egyptian and Champ. then we went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. (what were we thinking?) i think i got in at 3:45.

last night i met eric parker's new girl- stephanie. AND i got to see sandra! i heart her.

tonight im meeting with anne and then small group, and tomorrow...

Richmond :)

happy :)

"rejoice in the Lord always, again i say- rejoice!"

i had the best time in the car with the Lord this morning. aunt wendy was telling me about her tennis matches at the house, so i didnt get to read when i usually do, so i started going over the Scripture i've memorized this summer when i got in my car. after reciting all i knew, i just started getting really happy. i prayed a little in the silence and then decided to turn on some music... 

i listened to coldplay, amos lee, the jonas brothers, and taylor swift. i havent been so happy in the Lord in a long time :) 

confession: im ridiculously legalistic. so i think the Lord sometimes changes my routine so i can experience him.

"for everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer."

(1 tim 4:4)